The horror has a name: Twilight Und sogar 3 Buchbänder...
Und sogar 4 Verfilmungen
Ich have since a friend who writes a blog, like me. And just imagine: even (sometimes) about films. And now guess what happens when we look at the same time the same film. Quasi together. Exactly. to read your factual report on
ShoWatch I followed here: First, some
to describe myself: I have NEVER been a
Twilight - bought borrowed book, let alone read. My friend of mine here affectionately called Michi
(Note: Name of the editor not changed) already.
I condemn them?
No.
I find it pathetic that?
Maybe.
Fact is: I NEVER, NEVER NEVER have subjected any trend. I have no
Harry Potter - read band
High School Musical was (without having seen it ever), I always pretty awful, and yes - the beard of the Prophet - I have not read the compulsion of the 21 Century subject and bent the ridiculous stories of a Mormon, prudish, disillusioned, now wealthy woman named Stephanie Meyer. Take that bitch!
I am therefore not
Twilight went to the movies. Why should they?
I've seen the movies at home on DVD?
Maybe.
Am I now a mainstay loser follower?
Definitely.
Keeps me from them to write a review?
No.
Part 1 with the enticing, creative title "
Twilight - Bis (s) for diarrhea and vomiting" was on a scale of 1 to 10 - with 10 being here in the category "Movies without meaning, without intelligent dialogues, no famous actors and especially without brain "is - that was part 1, a very nice 13.7. hard to beat? Forget it - Part 2 "New Moon
- Bis (s) for meningitis" was about 27.9 and Part 3 "Eclipse
- Bis (s) to a heart attack" not measurable. (The ruler is only up 4,592,612,549.01)
Instead here to enter precisely on the individual parts, the non-existent sense resulting story and its certainly talentless acting abilities, I have decided to that of Michi made (and, curiously enough by itself partially answered) questions correctly to answer, and you finally return to the restful sleep she has lost since our disturbing double feature, unfortunately.
"Does not he have a shirt?" A nice question - and especially nice right. Since Part 2 is werewolf boy Jacob to 99% of his time and, above all, independent of weather conditions oder der Situation, ohne Shirt, dafür in knappen Jeansshorts herum. Michi glaubt, es liegt an den Zuschauerzahlen... Ich befürchte, das ist nur halbrichtig.
Antwort 1: Produktionskosten. Weniger Shirts bedeuten weniger Kosten. Sowohl für die Crew als auch für den Werwolf selber. Der müsste sich nach jeder Verwandlung ein neues Leiberl kaufen. Und nachdem hinter dem Berg KEIN H&M ist (um auf Michis nächste Frage gleich einzugehen) läuft er lieber gleich oben ohne herum.
Antwort 2: Zur Erhaltung des Teints. Warum ist Jacob wohl so braun? Richtig – weil er immer oben ohne herumläuft. Er will diese rassige Erscheinung behalten und nützt jede freie Minute zur Bräunung. Also on the mountain. In winter. And in the night.
(I have never insured that all my answers are logical)
What happens to the shorts? Answer: The actually go broke every transformation. Fortunately, it can in an enchanted forest dwarf, sewing pants. What he incidentally also makes each day and they hid in a cave. There you can get the werewolves at will after each wear new jeans shorts. The dwarf is the way Lee Vice.
Why has no Edward Sixpack? Answer: vampires can not build muscles. The course know only hardcore Vampire fans such as Stephanie Meyer. This is part of the natural balance - vampires can not build muscles - for extremely werewolves. Werewolves stink when they come in the rain - Vampire glitter in the sun for it. Vampire disappear in the mirror - werewolves disappear in a meat grinder.
has something to do with poetic justice. I recommend to read like "The Vampire Brockhaus" or "Why can fly vampires and werewolves in human form have no chest hair"
Edward Does not comb? Answer: Yes. Vampires may have no comb - is like the hair, it must be worn. Werewolves allowed to wear it on her 21 years of no dog collar.
Why werewolves cut their hair when they occur in the pack? Answer: The fashion trend. Who wants to wear short pants, short hair must wear - no idea why Michael does not know.
move, so why the werewolves like pigs? Answer: Michis presumption of bad special effects once again is only half true, sorry. The full correct answer: in addition to the bad special effects had
this gentleman play the entire movement for the motion capture system. Und der hats verbockt. Dieses Schwein.
Wieso stottert Bella den ganzen Film über? Antwort: Schlechte Schauspielerin, die noch dazu von Jacobs aufgemaltem Sixpack abgelenkt war UND die
National Stuttering Association (Verein der Stotterer Amerikas), der einer der Hauptsponsoren der Filmproduktion war.
Warum bekommt Eclipse den People‘s Choice Award für den besten Film? Antwort: Weil (nur) Amerikaner abstimmen durften.
Wieso hat jeder Teil einen anderen Regisseur? Antwort: Weil jeder einzelne Regisseur nach dem allerletzten Drehtag das Ultimatung stellte were "either I or this lousy, talentless actor," after everyone was still convinced to this low point of his own can never surpassed in dull and stupid, they threw in the towel and voluntarily this lousy, talentless actors remain.
pulls Why Bella before a pale, hühnerbrüstigen bloodsucker a tanned, waschbrettbäuchigen Wolf? This question I can not answer to my shame. I am seriously outraged by Bella's decision, as Edward in view of the amount of blood that he has already drunk, certainly with the AIDS virus, tuberculosis, hepatitis and, possibly, swine flu is infected. But I'm afraid it's up to Jacob's skin color and Stephanie Meyer and Bella are just racist, Indian-hating, homophobic witch.
These films are so intense it even worth thinking about it? Michi clearly says this: Yes.
I say: Who was so stupid to spend money to buy all the books and then not even all the reads, which has so generally not all the dishes in the box, marbles, and above all, a huge jump in the soup bowl. I'm stunned to have learned that human error occurs first by reading their blogs. Had I known that before ... But what did I expect? Michi has indeed alle
Harry Potter Bücher gelesen.
Ist das gestört?
Vielleicht.
Erbärmlich?
Sicherlich.
Eine der besten Freundinnen, die ich je haben werde?
Mit absoluter Sicherheit!
Ich freue mich schon mit ihr das Grauen fortzusetzen. Bald ist es soweit:
Twilight 4: „Bis(s) zur Vergasung!“